{"id":106,"date":"2007-12-15T20:08:00","date_gmt":"2007-12-15T19:08:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/revuepolaire.com\/?p=106"},"modified":"2023-08-02T20:10:44","modified_gmt":"2023-08-02T18:10:44","slug":"pain-surprise","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/revuepolaire.com\/index.php\/2007\/12\/15\/pain-surprise\/","title":{"rendered":"Pain-surprise"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

\u00c9l\u00e9gie nutritive en deux tranches et un Akouski [\u2026].<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Premi\u00e8re tranche :
<\/strong>
Au bal masqu\u00e9 d\u00e9guis\u00e9 en gruy\u00e8re
Je n\u2019ai pas craint les courants d\u2019air.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Lulu avec son sale ami
qu\u2019\u00e9tait d\u00e9guis\u00e9 en patate
v\u00e9g\u00e9tait sur un tatamis
comme un oeuf au milieu des blattes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tout en passant pr\u00e8s du buffet
J\u2019y dit : \u2014 \u00ab T\u2019as pris ton cornichon ? \u00bb
Et \u00e9 m\u2019dit : \u2014 \u00ab Mon chou, c\u2019est rap\u00e9,
si tu crois refaire un back-on<\/em> ! \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On \u00e9tait \u00e0 couteaux tir\u00e9s
y semblaient s\u2019en payer une tranche
Moi, pris en sandwich, atterr\u00e9…
On avait du pain sur la planche !<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ah ! j\u2019en avais sur la patate :
Me pr\u00e9f\u00e9rer un cornichon !
Une andouille, mou comme une patte !

\u2014 \u00ab J\u2019te vais lui flanquer un marron !<\/p>\n\n\n\n

J\u2019en ai soup\u00e9 !… C\u2019est du recuit !… \u00bb
Lui se dit : \u00e7a sent le br\u00fbl\u00e9 !
J\u2019allais te lui serrer l\u2019Kiki,
Te fair\u2019 du boudin antillais !<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Seconde tranche :
<\/strong>
Quand, soudain \u00e0 deux mains, Lulu,
Ma Lulu, te lui fout une tarte,
Un sans noyau dans les velues
Qu\u2019\u00e9tait pas marqu\u00e9 sur la carte !<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014 \u00ab Y m\u2019a mis la main au panier ! \u00bb
Qu\u2019elle dit, accol\u00e9e au buffet.

\u2014 \u00ab C\u2019est normal… y fait son march\u00e9 ! \u00bb
J\u2019r\u00e9ponds. \u2014 \u00ab …Salaud… ! Viens m\u2019embrasser ! \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On est rest\u00e9 comm\u2019 deux ronds d\u2019flanc
Sur le cornichon dans l\u2019 p\u00e2t\u00e9.
Viol \u00e0 l\u2019\u00e9talage, et comment !
C\u2019est sans cr\u00e9dit, pour d\u00e9guster.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Et tandis qu\u2019y sucrait les fraises,
Les bonbons en brisures de riz,
Moi, d\u00e9j\u00e0 beaucoup plus \u00e0 l\u2019aise,
Je lui dis : \u2014 \u00ab Viens… viens mon Kiki !…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Viens sur mon coeur, mon sucre d\u2019orge,
Viens, mon baigneur en chocolat,
Mon choux, ma crotte ; ah, dis…? Dis…? Dors-je ?
Est-ce bien toi que revoil\u00e0 ?… \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

En gruy\u00e8re, contre ses miches,
A nouveau, je chipotais pas.
Dans l\u2019beurre j\u2019\u00e9tais ! \u2014 \u00ab Ah, Bibiche,
Mon boudin, ma chipolatas !…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Avec tes miches, mon gruy\u00e8re. Ah
Si qu\u2019on s\u2019faisait un sandwich !
Sur l\u2019 pouce, l\u00e0, mon rat ? Dis : Ouiche !… \u00bb
Vla qu\u2019ell\u2019 r\u00e9pond : \u2014 \u00ab Taratata ! \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014 \u00ab Quoi, taratata ?… \u2014 Oui…, Basta !

\u2014 Mais, qu\u2019est-ce qui t\u2019prends, dis, ma groseille ?

\u2014 Maquereau ! \u00bb Qu\u2019elle me fait. \u2014 \u00ab \u00c7a va pas ?!

\u2014 Pour qui tu t\u2019prends : t\u2019as pas d\u2019oseille !<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u2014 Tu vas pas m\u2019en faire un fromage :
J\u2019ai cass\u00e9 mon cochon pour toi !
On a tout mang\u00e9… \u2014 C\u2019est dommage !…
Qu\u2019elle r\u00e9pond, Bye !, une autre fois !… \u00bb<\/p>\n\n\n\n

AKOUSKI :
<\/strong>
Je repensais au roi Fran\u00e7ois
Disant : \u2014 \u00ab Souvent, femme varie,
Bien fol qui s\u2019y fie ! \u00bb voyant l\u00e0,
le cornich\u2019 sur le carreau, qui,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

dans l\u2019 gaz, et, coll\u00e9 comme un spa-
guetti, payait l\u2019ardoise ; et houp-
l\u00e0, dans l\u2019baba, dis, qu\u2019est-ce qu\u2019ell\u2019 t\u2019a
mis ! Car, c\u2019\u00e9tait lui, gros plein d\u2019soup,<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ce salaud, qui rendait sa glotte… !

\u2014 Femmes, votre amour est trop beau :
Le sal\u2019 s\u2019y fie, qui nous carotte
\u00c0 la longue y perd le poireau.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00c9l\u00e9gie nutritive en deux tranches et un Akouski [\u2026]. Premi\u00e8re tranche :Au bal masqu\u00e9 d\u00e9guis\u00e9 en…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_editorskit_title_hidden":false,"_editorskit_reading_time":0,"_editorskit_is_block_options_detached":false,"_editorskit_block_options_position":"{}","advgb_blocks_editor_width":"","advgb_blocks_columns_visual_guide":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-106","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-brocante-archives-rires"],"yoast_head":"\nPain-surprise - Revue Polaire<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/revuepolaire.com\/index.php\/2007\/12\/15\/pain-surprise\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"fr_FR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Pain-surprise - Revue Polaire\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00c9l\u00e9gie nutritive en deux tranches et un Akouski [\u2026]. 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